About Us


Do you have a life?

Yes, we have been living for a combined 142 years.

How do I find your house to kill you in your sleep?

We hail from North County we live in a trailer with purple shutters on Bermuda Road …next to Bermuda Elementary School. We do not currently have an address for we are squatters with a laptop.

Why do you have such a dislike for STLToday.com / St. Louis Post-Dispatch?

We do not hate the Paper or the online paper …we just realized over time that the writers / columnists have developed a cozy relationship with the major sports teams in St. Louis and this in turn effects their ability to report the whole story and at times, by omission, leave out important information that leaves the average fan in the dark.

How can I contact you?

By emailing us at info@toastdispatch.com


We would like to mention that we are just sports fans who enjoy watching or going to a game every once in a while. We enjoy writing satire but we do not personaly know any of the people who we write about. This site is intended to impart humor to our viewers and again is not directed toward individuals personally…unless you are a former average to slightly below average goal keeper for the St. Louis Blues who wears number 51, minus 6, plus 3, minus 7. We hope you get a few laughs from the site and maybe even a diferrent perspective than the main stream sports distribution centers.