Blackhawks Dynasty Found Dead


Late last night the Chicago Blackhawks Dynasty was killed tragically in a hit-and-run incident.

Witnesses said the victim had just crossed over at the 3200 block of Salary Cap Boulevard, when a speeding ’67 blue Chevy, filled with young kids, jumped the curb and struck the Blackhawks Dynasty.

The Blackhawks Dynasty was rushed to the Cook County Hospital; however, was pronounced dead by the media at 10:16 pm, Wednesday evening. Witnesses told Cook County Police Department that the ’67 blue Chevy was seen going south bound on Highway 55, heading toward St. Louis.

The Blackhawks are survived by their brothers, Da Bulls, Da Bears, Da Cubs and their two nieces Doc Emrick and Eddie Olczyk.

NBC however refuses to acknowledge the death of the Blackhawks Dynasty, and continues to air re-runs of their glory days in the hopes the legions of bandwagon fans won’t notice the difference.

The viewing will be at the United Center starting today through April 2017.

Viewing will be followed by an internment at the Little Sisters of So-So.

About the Author

Lumpy Rutherford
Lumpy Rutherford is the head writer for the Toast Dispatch. His favorite topics are St. Louis Post-Dispatch writer Jeremy Rutherford and former Blues goalie Jaroslav Halak.