Blues Announce Prozac Giveaway

Prozac Pez

On Monday, the St. Louis Blues announced that the first 10,000 fans arriving at game 1 of the Playoffs on Thursday at the Scottrade Center will be given a Tarasenko Pez dispenser, along with a two month supply of special Playoff edition Prozac, provided by Pharmaceutical giant Pfizer.

This giveaway is the last brainchild of Bruce Affleck before he was “reassigned” last season.

We asked Chris Zimmerman, the Blues VP of Sales and Marketing about this unusual giveaway.

Zimmerman told us: “Lets just say the legal department was never notified about us handing out drugs to fans at a sporting event.”

The Blues were quick to warn us of the possible side effects of this special edition Playoff Prozac.

Side effects may include:

  • Drowsiness in between games
  • Loss of Playoff beard
  • Low scoring anxiety
  • Overtime panic attacks
  • Trouble sleeping between games
  • Hostility towards referees
  • Being overly critical of NBC announcers
  • Thoughts of suicide or harming members of the opposing fanbase
  • If you develop a deep love of the Chicago Blackhawks, please contact your doctor immediately.

About the Author

Lumpy Rutherford
Lumpy Rutherford is the head writer for the Toast Dispatch. His favorite topics are St. Louis Post-Dispatch writer Jeremy Rutherford and former Blues goalie Jaroslav Halak.