Blues Dump Mascot


The St. Louis Toast Dispatch is reporting that the St. Louis Blues team mascot, “Louie the Bear” has been replaced by a real Grizzly Bear.

Senior VP, Marketing and Public Relations, Mike Caruso stated that the team felt like they just needed a change.  “Louie has brought a lot of energy to the games over last six years but if we are going to make a real push toward the next level you need a rock solid mascot who brings it night in and night out.  We wish all of the best to Louie in his future endeavors”.

When asked if the team thought through some of the obvious snafus that might come with unleashing a 849 lb. 7ft 9” Kodiak Grizzly Bear onto the unsuspecting fans?

Mike Caruso responded, “I choose not think what might go wrong…but, what will go right with this mascot.

For example, lets say the Blues are in the middle of a crucial early season 4 game home stand and they are down 5-2 late in the third, all the season ticket holders are sitting on their hands, the players sense the looming defeat…when suddenly out comes Grizzy The Bear and fans start screaming their heads off…team hears the screams and they are lifted to a 6-5 victory spurred on by the all the screaming, yelling and general shrieking from the Blues Fans”.

Curiously the Blues Legal Department is instituting a new waiver policy where by all Blues fans entering the Scott Trade Center will be required to sign a waiver stating that the St. Louis Blues shall not be held accountable for said Blues Fans failure to out run a Grizzly Bear.

Season ticket holders will not be required to sign the waiver but will instead upon entering the premises will each be given a Krieghoff K-80, 12 gage sawed off shotgun.  The Blues were quick to note that any ammo needed will be on sale at each concession stand.

About the Author

Lumpy Rutherford
Lumpy Rutherford is the head writer for the Toast Dispatch. His favorite topics are St. Louis Post-Dispatch writer Jeremy Rutherford and former Blues goalie Jaroslav Halak.