The St. Louis Blues medical staff believe they have located the source of the ongoing bacterial infection that has been plaguing the Blues.
“Ground Zero seems to be in the far right corner of the Blues locker room.” Said Rick Wright, MD, the team’s head physician. “This corner is where coach Hitchcock can usually be found after games munching on a bucket of KFC.”
Apparently after the final game of the season last year Hitch left a half eaten KFC combo meal sitting in the corner. There it festered all off-season, feeding off the sweat and tears the Blues left behind, just waiting for a chance to spring.
D-Man Carl Gunnarsson told us: “The real reason I haven’t played in any games yet this season is that I can’t bring myself to go in that locker room, the stench is unbearable! Can you believe they still haven’t cleaned it up?”
The Department of Human Rights is currently attempting to discern if there is in fact enough culture in this KFC bucket to warrant a declaration of sentience by the U.S. Government. Hitchcock claims to have heard music that sounded strangely similar to Beethoven’s 5th Symphony emanating from the bucket, although that may have been a side effect of his attempt to finish the chicken.