Blues Move to New, Smaller Stadium

Athletics, Matt Trevor

Bruce Affleck, Vice President of Sales & Marketing for the St. Louis Blues, has been under increasing pressure to start selling out Blues games on a more consistent basis. With this in mind, he has announced a rather shocking, yet clever, idea:  “Effective immediately, I am terminating the contract with the Scottrade Center Partnership and have signed a 50 year lease with the Oscar Meyer Wiener corporation and am moving the team into our new arena, which will be named the Super Weenie Hut Jr’s Arena.”  Adding, “I had to get that monkey off my back.”  We asked  if he was making reference to anyone in particular.  Bruce replied, “No comment.”

New ownership group of St. Louis Blues introduced










After an uncomfortable pause, he went on: “The new arena has a seating capacity of 6,241 with an additional 41 standing room only section reserved for people who are addicted to bananas.”  The Blues matchup against the Chicago Blackhawks on December 28th will be the inaugural game at the Super Weenie Hut Jr’s. Arena.  Some are already referring to it as “The House that Halak Built”.  The new stadium was completed 2 years ahead of schedule because of it’s rather petite size.

The Super Weenie Hut Jr’s Arena is located at 5th and Locust next to the ever popular Weenie Hut Jr’s. restaurant.  Tom Stillman, swallowing his mouthful of banana, told us: “We are very excited to move into this new arena just in time for our upcoming tilt against the Blackhawks.” He added, “With only 6,241 seats to fill, every night will be a sellout!  We predict we will have 50+ straight years of sellout games in our new home.”


Along with a new stadium comes a bunch of fresh marketing promotions; the first giveaway will be free Oscar Meyer Jumbo Dogs and Toast Dispatch T-Shirts with autographed mustard stains from Bruce Affleck for the first 41 fans.

Also, when Halak lets in 3 goals or more in the first period, all fans in attendance can redeem their tickets on the following Wednesday at the Weenie Hut Jr’s restaurant at 5th and Locust for a free Mega Weenie Super Wednesday Hot Fudge Stillman Classic Sundae with, of course… bananas.

About the Author

Barney Miklasz
Barney Miklasz is our site Admin, in his spare time, he enjoys criticizing Ken Hitchcock's line combinations, as well as skydiving off the St. Louis Arch.