Blues to replace Steve Ott with Piggy Smalls on the 4th line

blues-pig

At long last, Ken Hitchcock’s search for the perfect grinder is complete.  Piggy Smalls has entered the building.

Amidst all the hype of “Roar Bacon”, Blues captain David Backes brought in Piggy Smalls, pet pig and new unofficial mascot of the St. Louis Blues.

When Ken Hitchcock first laid his eyes on the large swine running amuck in the Blues locker room, he didn’t just see a farm animal, or a large slab of future bacon.  He saw the ultimate grinder to put to use on the 4th line.

“He’s the kind of swine that really puts his snout to the grindstone, and goes to work mucking about in the corners night in, and night out.”

– Ken Hitchcock on Piggy Smalls

“Smalls is the kind of pig every team wants to have.” Said Hitchcock. “He’s the kind of swine that really puts his snout to the grindstone, and goes to work mucking about in the corners night in, and night out.  A true blue collar worker.”

When asked if there were any possible issues with playing a pig in the NHL, Hitchcock responded: “My only two concerns are that he might lean towards being a bit of a puck hog, and if I have to fight him at the buffet table it won’t be pretty.”

Steve Ott, who is being replaced by Piggy Smalls, told us: “Sure, he’s looked good in practice, with a barn burner of a slap shot, but he’s a boar in the locker room.”

Piggy Smalls was unavailable for comment, and was last seen heading towards Ken Hitchcock’s office, to take care of… business.

About the Author


Lumpy Rutherford
Lumpy Rutherford is the head writer for the Toast Dispatch. His favorite topics are St. Louis Post-Dispatch writer Jeremy Rutherford and former Blues goalie Jaroslav Halak.