It was announced today that long time Blue, Barret Jackman, would not be re-signing with St. Louis this off-season.
Jackman won the NHL Rookie of the Year Award in 2003, beating out Henrik Zetterberg and Rick Nash. Those who awarded Jackman the Calder Trophy were later admitted to a mental institution.
“It’ll be sad to see him leave.” Said Blues captain David Backes, “But on my team, there’s only room for one dog loving charity, and he was starting to steal my thunder. He had to go.”
“Jackman was a great player to have.” Ken Hitchcock told us. “But he needed more grit. More determination. More intangibles! He needed to be more like Steve Ott! Everyone needs to be like Steve Ott! Except that Steve Ott guy, he’s good.”
The Blues are planning to retire Barret Jackman’s number 5, along with many of his patented plays. Such as:
- Turning the puck over in the defensive zone.
- Dumping the puck into the zone while everyone else is on a line change.
- And who could forget: Shooting the puck into the opponent’s shin guards.
They will not however, be retiring his two unforgettable Playoff game winning goals against LA and Chicago.
In all seriousness though, thanks to Barret Jackman for a long career with the Blues. We wish you luck wherever it is you go next.
Unless it’s Chicago. *shudders*