Boston Gift Wraps Game 2 For St. Louis

Gift Game


The World Series is tied at a game apiece and the World Series bash is headed back to St. Louis, thanks in great part, to Red Sox pitcher Craig Breslow.

With one out in the top of the 7th inning, Matt Carpenter hit a fly ball to short left field, and that’s when the party began. After the throw from left fielder Jonny Gomes got away from Red Sox catcher Jarrod “Mylastnameiswaytoolongandneedstobeabbreviated-Saltalamacchia”, then Breslow, backing up said catcher, inexplicably pauses to gift wrap the ball and attempts to deliver it to the Cardinals dugout, but air mails it over the third baseman’s head and into the stands, where a very kind Bostonian native, immediately realized that it was a gift to the Cardinals, being the kind and thoughtful person that most Bostonians are, promptly pummels past the security guards and into the Cardinals dugout, and handed the ball to Cardinals pitcher Michael Wacha, the eventual winning pitcher of last night’s game.

The Cardinal celebration was tainted by the news that former Texas Ranger Mike Napoli was carried out of the dugout by “Big Papi” with a horrible bout of “post traumatic 2011 world series stress syndrome”, he kept mumbling something about “Their down to their last strike”, and “They just won’t go away”.

-Amen Happy Flight


About the Author

Lumpy Rutherford
Lumpy Rutherford is the head writer for the Toast Dispatch. His favorite topics are St. Louis Post-Dispatch writer Jeremy Rutherford and former Blues goalie Jaroslav Halak.