Breaking News! NHL Announces New Division Names!

Gary Bettman

We have known about the NHL realignment for quite some time now, but until now, divisions have just been called divisions A – D.

Today, the NHL announced the names of each new division! “We think these names represent each division and their teams very well!” said NHL commissioner Gary Bettman.

After the boo’s had subsided to a subtle roar, Bettman continued, “Well if that’s the way you feel about it…” and then proceeded to erase the division names, that was on a piece of paper he was holding,  and scribble down four new names.

“The NEW division names are now as follows” began Bettman, “The Crosby Division”, at this, a Pittsburgh fan in the back row got up, and  shouted in joy.

“The Small Market Division”.  Which received groans from fans all around the mid-west.

“The East Coast Division, or as I like to call it,” Said Gary Bettman, “The all that really matters division.  And finally…” At this point Gary gave a evil grin to the audience, which made a few babies shriek in horror. “The… Bettman Division…”

After that final stunning announcement Bettman giggled maniacally and dashed off-stage.

About the Author

Barney Miklasz
Barney Miklasz is our site Admin, in his spare time, he enjoys criticizing Ken Hitchcock's line combinations, as well as skydiving off the St. Louis Arch.