Brewers Vow to Never Score Again


Bob Uecker to Brewers fans: “If you had fun, you won!”

After shutting out the Brewers 3-0 on Saturday, the Cardinals have extended their scoreless inning streak to an impressive 36 innings.

However, ever wanting to one-up their big brother, the Brewers have vowed to set a new MLB record of their own.  After being shutout for 18 straight innings, Brewers manager Craig Counsell has announced they are gunning for the MLB record of 42 innings WITHOUT scoring a run.

Counsell told us: “We know this hasn’t been a banner season, and overall as a franchise we only have one actual trophy to display…  But we still think our fans deserve a record of our own, to celebrate this season.”

Brewers fans had mixed reactions, but were quick to jump on board when they realized they’d instantly double their trophy collection from a single 1982 AL Pennant with this new medal.

“We just can’t let the Cardinals get all the records.” Said Brewers OF Ryan Braun while injecting himself with a shot that he swore was just his monthly “inoculation” against winning.

Confident that the record is all theirs, the Brewers held a pre-game ceremony with Bob Uecker presenting the medal, engraved with the overly positive expression, “If you had fun, you won!”.


About the Author

Barney Miklasz
Barney Miklasz is our site Admin, in his spare time, he enjoys criticizing Ken Hitchcock's line combinations, as well as skydiving off the St. Louis Arch.