Chicago Blackhawks give fans Sore Loser Lozengers


Late last night after Chicago’s crushing OT loss in game 7 against the LA Kings, fans were handed complimentary “Sore Loser Lozenges” upon exiting the United Center to.

“I appreciated these “Blackhawk Lozenges” after all the screaming I did at the game”  Said Michael Pucksuckski, “But what I really needed was some industrial strength Visine after all that crying I did.”

Joe Poutski told us: “After the game I had a few of these lozenges, then I took to the internet to show my dismay for anyone who is a fan of any team except the Blackhawks, then I ordered a new Rangers jersey and burned all my Hawks gear.  Go Rangers!”

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Lumpy Rutherford
Lumpy Rutherford is the head writer for the Toast Dispatch. His favorite topics are St. Louis Post-Dispatch writer Jeremy Rutherford and former Blues goalie Jaroslav Halak.