Cubs’ Maddon Angered by Cardinals Getting in the Way of Pitches

 

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Cubs manager Joe Maddon argues to the home plate umpire that if the Cardinals want to stop being hit by Cubs pitchers they should stop coming up to bat.

Unbelievable.  Inexcusable.  Absurd.  Unprofessional.

These are just a few words Cubs manager Joe Maddon used to describe the gall the Cardinals had to keep getting in the way of Cubs pitchers.

“We’re throwing strikes, I don’t know what those goons in red are doing, standing in the way of a baseball.  Who do they think they are?  Anthony Rizzo?”  Said Maddon.

“Maddon is the kind of kid who doesn’t only take every single toy in the neighborhood park sandbox for himself, he takes all the toys from the surrounding park sandboxes as well.”

The latest Cardinal to stand in the way of a strike was Matt Holliday, who was plunked on the hand and will require season-ending surgery.

When reminded that the MLB Strike Zone is in fact over the plate, and not over the batter’s box, Maddon quickly backtracked.

joe maddon strike zone“Look it’s not my fault we’ve hit Holliday in the head area twice over the last 2 years, or that we hit 3 batters in one game last year, or that we seem to hit at least 1 Cardinals batter every series.  That’s not my fault.  The Cardinals are vigilantes, they’re the villains here… I’m telling you guys, you gotta watch your back with them.”

As Maddon left the interview he was seen hurling a baseball at a young Cardinals fan seeking an autograph, before stealing candy from a baby, and finally retiring to his office to throw darts at a poster of Matt Holliday’s head.

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Barney Miklasz
Barney Miklasz is our site Admin, in his spare time, he enjoys criticizing Ken Hitchcock's line combinations, as well as skydiving off the St. Louis Arch.