Cubs Pitchers No Longer Content With Just Hitting Cardinals Batters


Cubs pitchers have combined to hit 5 Cardinals batters in the first 2 games of this series.

Encouraged by manager Joe Maddon however, the Cubs pitching staff is looking for exciting new targets for their beanballs.

“It’s been fun hitting batters with no consequences, but after beaning Holliday in the head, and Wong twice, it’s getting a little old.”  Admitted Cubs pitcher Jon Lester.

“I feel like there are more targets out there for us to plunk.” Said Joe Maddon. “That’s why I’ve instructed my pitchers to hit anyone with a Cardinals jersey in the stands as well.”

In addition to the standard “Beware of Foul Balls” PA announcement, Wrigley Field patrons will also be warned that wearing a Cardinals jersey within throwing distance of the pitchers mound at the un-friendly confines likely puts them in immediate danger of a HBP.

When asked what spurred this action, Maddon replied: “We need to send a message to the Cardinals, that we’re the only team allowed to hit batters.  A pitch skimmed Rizzo, so we’ve taken the rational response of hitting 5 batters and now, their fans.”

Maddon reiterated what he said earlier: “We won’t start things, but we will finish them…  And keep them going.”


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Barney Miklasz
Barney Miklasz is our site Admin, in his spare time, he enjoys criticizing Ken Hitchcock's line combinations, as well as skydiving off the St. Louis Arch.