Dodgers Have More Excuses for not Beating Cardinals

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Dodgers manager Don Mattingly always seem to have an excuse as too why his team can’t beat the Cardinals.  Oddly enough, none of his excuses point any fault towards his team.

In the 2013 NLCS Mattingly accused the Cardinals of stealing his signs.  According to the Dodgers, the Cardinals were suddenly a notorious team with a reputation of espionage.

In the 2014 NLDS, the Dodgers again cried out the Cardinals stole their signs, and in addition said the Umpires were biased towards the smaller market Cardinals.

Now, a few weeks after losing 2 out of 3 to the Cardinals, Mattingly says the Umpires were influenced by the large crowds at Busch Stadium into giving the Cardinals favorable calls.  Let’s ignore the fact that the Dodgers have the largest stadium in the MLB with seating for 56,000 fans, while Busch Stadium ranks 8th at 46,000.

Don Mattingly called a press conference before tonight’s game to kick off a 4 game series between the Dodgers and Cardinals.

Mattingly opened saying: “Before we play this series, I’d like to announce a list of reasons why we lost the series.

  1. The Cardinals stole our signs.  It’s is a given at this point.
  2. The Cardinals kidnapped Clayton Kershaw and replaced him with Playoff Kershaw, which explains the 7th inning that will happen in game 3.
  3. Matheny is distracting our fielders by making faces at them from the dugout.
  4. Kershaw still has nightmares about Matt Carpenter.”

The media was skeptical but quickly rushed to spread the word of Mother Mattingly, while the rest of the team warmed up the Bubble Machine in the dugout.

About the Author


Barney Miklasz
Barney Miklasz is our site Admin, in his spare time, he enjoys criticizing Ken Hitchcock's line combinations, as well as skydiving off the St. Louis Arch.