Green Monster To Be Removed Before World Series


Fenway park is one of baseball’s oldest stadiums, and one of it’s signature features is the annoyingly tall wall in left field that has deflected many would-be home runs and off the wall doubles and turned them into singles, oh, and don’t even think about trying to hit a ground rule double into left field, it’s not happening.

Thankfully that is all coming to an end, as MLB commissioner Bud Selig has declared that the Green Monster’s reign of terror is finally over.

“It has been brought to my attention” began Bug Selig, “That there is an abnormally high wall in the Red Sox stadium… No other stadium has a 37 foot wall in left field gobbling up baseballs, so I don’t see why Fenway Park should have one.”  When asked why he had never noticed it before Selig replied: “I always sat on top of the Green Monster, I always thought it was just the upper deck.”

Many Red Sox fans have expressed outrage over the soon demise of the Green Monster.  One fan said:  “I can’t believe that they would teah it down, well, theh goes ouh home field advantage…”

The Green Monster will be replaced by a more traditional sized wall.  Red Sox left fielders are currently being given a crash course in how to catch balls hit to the warning track and how to jump at the wall.

Bud Selig will reportedly miss the world series as he plans to travel to Scotland to personally slay the Loch Ness Monster

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Barney Miklasz
Barney Miklasz is our site Admin, in his spare time, he enjoys criticizing Ken Hitchcock's line combinations, as well as skydiving off the St. Louis Arch.