Halakanites and Allenites Join Forces!

Halakanites VS Elliott

The Halakanites and Allenites have joined forces in a epic battle for the ages of Good vs Evil.

As Elliott ascends to his rightful place in the kingdom of elite goalies the Halakanites and Allenites unite to hinder Elliott’s ascension.

In what way do they execute this dastardly deed?

By employing the aged old idiom…”see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil”

They refuse to see Elliott’s superior play, They refuse to hear the cheers and accolades from the knowledgeable, handsome, humble posters and they speak not of Elliott’s great play but only lament the loss of the Heroine – Halak and their new girlfriend Jerk Allen. (Who we will need to keep getting better as a backup to Elliott for next years campaign).

To launch a counteroffensive against the aggressors We are holding a fund raiser at the sSuper Weenie Hut Jr’s at 5th and Locust to raise money / awareness for this rare diseases – Halakanitess / Allenitess (One out of every four posters suffer from this chronic illness)

Dinner begins at 7:00pm tomorrow night…We will begin with serving appetizers – “egg on your face – easy over”…the Entree will be – “Stuffed Crow w/raspberry sauce” for desert we will be serving “Banana Split with lots NUTS”.

Our special guest speaker will be Grandpa Geezer Bleedr…the title of his talk will be: “How to fall in madly love with an average to slightly above average goalie”

If you are not able to attend this Gala event…please send your donations to the http://www.toastdispatch.com website.

Amen Brother!

About the Author


Lumpy Rutherford
Lumpy Rutherford is the head writer for the Toast Dispatch. His favorite topics are St. Louis Post-Dispatch writer Jeremy Rutherford and former Blues goalie Jaroslav Halak.