Halak’s Comments From Last Nights Loss

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After last night’s 6-2 whipping against the now 6-0 San Jose Sharks, cream of the crop Goalie Jaroslav Halak answered some questions from the St. Louis Toast Dispatch.

Press: You were slow as molasses getting back up on that wrap-around goal by Wingels, any explanation?

Halak: Sometimes that’s the way the cookie crumbles .

Press: Were you steamed when Hitchcock pulled you out of the game?

Halak: How do you Americans say it? Coach needed to stick a fork in me, because I was done.

Press: Do you think you will start tomorrow night’s game?

Halak: Do bananas go on banana splits? It would be nuts not to have me start.

Press: You seem to be heavy on the food metaphors tonite…Does this have anything to do with your struggle to maintain your current 8% body fat?

Halak hesitates, and David Backes takes the opportunity to crown Halak with the Super Weenie Hut Jr’s Weenie Hat Player of the Game Award. Halak sees the plump Weenie Hut Jr’s hot dog, smothered in mustard on top of his head in the mirror behind me; then TJ Oshie yelled out, “Has anybody seen my box of Twinkies?” Hitchcock sticks his head in the door, asking if anyone wants some of the New York Cheesecake his wife sent over for him.

The final straw was Jeremy Rutherford standing two feet away from Halak with a recorder in one hand and a footlong Philly Cheesesteak sandwich, half-eaten, in the other; Halak, in full goalie gear, runs out the door, yelling, “Emergency meeting at Super Weenie Hut Jr’s!” Off in the distance we can just make out, “Your Lord, thy starving Goalie, is going to be first in line for MegaWeenie Wednesday!” Pausing in between bites, Hitchcock mumbles, “If only he moved that fast on the ice…”

– Amen Sweet Tooth

About the Author


Lumpy Rutherford
Lumpy Rutherford is the head writer for the Toast Dispatch. His favorite topics are St. Louis Post-Dispatch writer Jeremy Rutherford and former Blues goalie Jaroslav Halak.