Hitchcock Mixes Up The Lines AGAIN!


Ken Hitchcock in an unparalleled move has unveiled a fresh new scoring line that he believes will turn a lot of heads in this league.

“We have one line doing a lot and now the gap is getting narrower and narrower and narrower,” Hitchcock said. “We need to spread the love around on this team and I think Ryan Reaves is one of those players who needs some more ice time especially on the power play.”

Hitch announced that he is having Ryan Reaves head transplanted onto Jaden Schwartz body.

Hitchcock explained further that “ever since he returned from his visit with his great great Grandfather from Transylvania – Frank N. Stein he has been tinkering with the idea of mixing the lines up.”

“I can’t wait to see how this experiment unfolds.  I think the line of Reaves head on Schwartz body along with Tarasenko and Burgy will catch on fire.”

“I just hope the good townspeople of St. Louis do not get up in arms over this experiment.”

Hitchcock stated that if this works out that the possibilities were endless as to all the different head, body, legs, etc…line combo’s he could come up with.

Doug Armstrong was quoted as saying, “I asked Ken if he was thinking of Brain Transplants as a viable option” and he said he had a few in the team freezer…one of which was of particular interest by the name of Abey E. Normal.”

About the Author

Lumpy Rutherford
Lumpy Rutherford is the head writer for the Toast Dispatch. His favorite topics are St. Louis Post-Dispatch writer Jeremy Rutherford and former Blues goalie Jaroslav Halak.