Ken Hitchcock Hopes to Inspire Team with Playoff Gut

Ken Hitchcock Foodie

Many fans have noticed the lackluster play of the Blues lately, so has Ken Hitchcock, which is why he has a plan to invigorate his team for the Playoffs.

“The boys have looked a little flat lately,” Said Hitchcock. “many players grow a ‘Playoff Beard’ around this time of year, I have a better idea.  I’m growing a ‘Playoff Gut’!”

The Blues head coach’s love of fast food is well known, it shouldn’t come as a surprise then that his decision to fatten up for the post-season was wholeheartedly supported by the Media and Staff.

“Mmmmm mffff hnnngh berrrrrgh!” Said Post-Dispatch writer Jeremy Rutherford, through a mouth stuffed with his Philly Cheesesteak sandwich.  Thankfully, an interpreter for the gorged was available to translate Rutherford’s “Philly-Mumble”.

Rutherford Interpeter

Rutherford is assisted by an interpreter for the gorged.

 

TRANSLATION: “Could somebody please pass me some more cheese?”

Rutherford continued: “Hunfh galllllgh rafff, llllllurgh mmmmmffff, I hmmmmfh Himmmfch ghalllgh!”

TRANSLATION: “Hitch knows what’s best for this team, if he thinks growing a Playoff Gut will help light a fire under the team, I say let’s all dig in!”

Blues players were not very enthusiastic about Hitch’s new tactics.

Stastny told us: “Hitch spilled his milkshake on the projector last week and we haven’t been able to have any Power Play meetings since then!”

Hitchcock however remains confident that his Playoff Gut will help the team.

“There are hidden benefits to all this added weight you know, starting next week Ryan Reaves is going to be bench pressing me instead of using the workout room, and we’re going to run some drills where players will be dumping the puck into my belly and fighting to dig it back out of there.” Hitch added, “If they can dig the puck out of my gut, they can sure as heck dig it out of the boards.”

 

About the Author


Barney Miklasz
Barney Miklasz is our site Admin, in his spare time, he enjoys criticizing Ken Hitchcock's line combinations, as well as skydiving off the St. Louis Arch.