Kevin Slaten Says “Carpe-Possum”


*Sing to the tune of the Beverly Hillbilly’s theme song*

Come and listen to a story about a man named Slaten
A poor fired radio host, who caused a conflagration,
Then one day he was shootin at some fool,
And out through his mouth came some bubblin drool.

Hick that is, country bumpkin, St. Louis Hillbilly.

Well the first thing you know ol Slaten’s fired again,
Townfolk said “Slaten move away from here!”
Said “Chicago is the place you ought to be”
So he loaded up the truck and moved to Wrigley.

Field, that is. Losing teams, High murder rates.

Well now its time to say goodbye to Slaten and all his puke.
And he would like to thank you folks fer kindly droppin a rebuke.
You’re all invited back a gain to this locality
To have a heapin helpin of our funny comedy

St. Louis Toast Dispatch that is. Set a spell, Take your shoes off.

Y’all come back now, y’hear?.

Also, 9 / 10 Hillbillies are still employed…  – 1 has just been fired…

About the Author

Lumpy Rutherford
Lumpy Rutherford is the head writer for the Toast Dispatch. His favorite topics are St. Louis Post-Dispatch writer Jeremy Rutherford and former Blues goalie Jaroslav Halak.