Korea Launches Naval Assault on Blues!

Korean Slider

At 10:01am GMT time the leader of North Korea Kim Jong-un ordered a nuclear strike on the Scott Trade Center.

The nuclear missile was launched via UPS Ground.

It is expected to arrive in St. Louis by April 27th around 10:00pm to coincide with the last Blues game of the year.

The Toast-Dispatch has their North Asia correspondent in Ping Pong with this update…

Toastdispatch: Kim what were you thinking when you launched that missile?

Kim Jong-un: To tell you the truth…I was going to go UPS next day air until I saw the price.

The interview was cut short with Kim Jong-un on the count of the Knicks, Lakers game had just started.

Not one to just sit around and wait for someone else to do something…we here at the Toast-Dispatch made a call to UPS and had them Reroute the shipment to a new address: 1060 W Addison St. Chicago, IL 60613 …This should kill two birds with one stone….Kim Jong-un will put the Chicago Cubs out of their misery and take out Dennis Rodman at the same time.

Pure Genius! …Thanks Kim!

About the Author


Lumpy Rutherford
Lumpy Rutherford is the head writer for the Toast Dispatch. His favorite topics are St. Louis Post-Dispatch writer Jeremy Rutherford and former Blues goalie Jaroslav Halak.