NHL Announces 2017 Winter Classic will be a Blackhawks split-squad game

winter classic

Preparation begins for the 2016 NHL Winter Classic at Busch Stadium.


Last night, 19,150 St. Louis Blues fans, packed into the Scottrade Center to watch the Blues do battle against the hated Chicago Blackhawks, erupted with joy when it was announced that St. Louis would host the Blackhawks in the NHL’s premiere outdoor event, the 2017 Winter Classic.

After watching a thrilling shootout victory, those who bled blue began making their way to the exits, excitedly chattering about the game, and the upcoming Winter Classic.

With the Blackhawks defeated however, NBC phoned the NHL and made some slight modifications to the 2017 Winter Classic.

NHL commissioner Gary Bettman reportedly shoved Blues PA announcer Tom Calhoun out of his chair and commandeered the public address system.

“Is this thing on?”

– Gary Bettman

“There have been some, errr, changes to the Winter Classic plans.”  Mr. Bettman began. “Due to the significant and very probable possibility that the Blues could embarrass the Blackhawks in an outdoor game next year, and in order to maximize TV ratings, Chicago will instead play a split-squad game against themselves at Busch Stadium for the 2016 Winter Classic, rather than play the Blues as originally planned.”

Fans were none too pleased with the news, and cries of “that wasn’t part of the deal!” could be heard.

A deep ominous voice then said “I am altering the deal, pray I don’t alter it any further.”

After the boos died down, Bettman was made available to reporters and had this to say:

“It’s a great opportunity for the city of St. Louis, you get to host the legendary Chicago Blackhawks for an outdoor game, Busch Stadium will look brilliant in Blackhawks Red!”

Bettman was later checked into a hospital, reporting his ears were still ringing from all the boos.


About the Author

Barney Miklasz
Barney Miklasz is our site Admin, in his spare time, he enjoys criticizing Ken Hitchcock's line combinations, as well as skydiving off the St. Louis Arch.