St. Louis Blues Announce Jake Allen Will be Starting…

Stars 3

St. Louis Blues coach, Ken Hitchcock, has announced that JAKE ALLEN WILL BE STARTING… a new foundation called Jake and Melinda Gates foundation which aims to put an end to click bait titles.

“Click bait just really gets on my nerves, you wouldn’t believe the number of times I’ve been on Buzzfeed or CNN and clicked an article to find out ‘that one crazy trick you’ll never believe!’ just to be disappointed by a sensationalistic title.  ‘Find out why doctors hate him’ indeed.”

  • Jake Allen

When Allen was asked why he would start such a foundation, Allen replied; “there are tens of thousands of news agencies, blogs and sports parody websites / social media junkies across America, and really across the world who are using and abusing headlines with their never ending stream of click bait titles. The effect this has had on your average consumer is just now being understood, but really, we are more concerned about the devastating effect click bait has had on kittens, because every consumer of all things social knows that, every time you click on click bait – God Kills a Kitten.”

Jake also dropped another news bomb shell on us when he announced: JAKE ALLEN IS RETIRING… to his room, to take a nap. BEFORE HE STARTS GAME SEVEN of his online Call of Duty – Black Ops tournament.


About the Author

Lumpy Rutherford
Lumpy Rutherford is the head writer for the Toast Dispatch. His favorite topics are St. Louis Post-Dispatch writer Jeremy Rutherford and former Blues goalie Jaroslav Halak.
  • John Pav

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