The Hockey world was shocked today to learn that the Stanley Cup was now orbiting the earth some 24 miles above the East Coast. An inexplicable series of events led to the astonishing launching of the Holy Grail of Hockey into the uppermost regions of the stratosphere.
Apparently, just minutes after the Cup finished making a surprise visit to Angel Stadium, the unimaginable happened as an obviously sour N.Y. Rangers fan leaped out from behind gate #2 and boarded Dustin Brown to the ground, snatched Lord Stanley and ran out of the stadium with the Cup raised over his head, screaming, “if we can’t have da Cup dan nobody can”.
Before the NHL security team could apprehend the deranged Rangers fan, he attached Lord Stanley to an awaiting weather balloon that was stationed on the back of his pick-up truck and quickly counted down, “Tree, Two, One… blastoff!”
Stunned fans reportedly squealed in disbelief as the treasured chalice sailed off in the general direction of Disney Land.
Moments later, a stoked Kings fan, looked up in bewilderment and moaned, “Bro that’s my Cup”.
Fortunately, The National Hockey League had the foresight to insert a GPS tracking device into the base of the cup, in the event of a theft and is currently working closely with the National Aeronautics and Space Administration satellite tracking division. NASA is calculating the current landing location to be somewhere over South Africa near the Kalahari desert. The Hockey Gods Must Be Crazy! Click here to track the Cup.
Lumpy Rutherford is the Head Sports writer for the St. Louis Toast-Dispatch. He runs the Blues Blog and is a columnist for the Rams and Cards Blogs.
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Last updated: 09/02/2014