Taransenko Tears Rotator Cuff While Working Out


The St. Louis Toast Dispatch is reporting that Vladimir Tarasanko, has torn his rotator cuff during practice today.

Apparently, this happened during his bench-pressing portion of his workout.

When asked how much he was lifting to cause the tear,

Blues’ strength and conditioning coach, Nelson Ayotte, stated, ”the short answer is 425 pounds.”

Apparently, Tearasanko had allowed the recent success of lifting 305 pounds to go to his head.

When asked if he could explain in further detail,

Nelson replied, “Tarasanko, during practice, had bench-pressed every player on the team at least one time.  He had really beefed up during the offseason…however, the real trouble started when Hully showed up”.

Brett Hull yelled out from the press box, “Hey Vladi…if you really want to impress me…bench the coach!”

The whole Blues team started chanting:  Vladi, Vladi; and the next thing you knew Tarasenko was on the bench and waiting for the trainers to strap Hitchcock to a crane and lower him into position for the lift.

Well, when it was all said and done Tarasenko was dragged off the ice, screaming in pain, and coach Hitchcock was seen scurrying down the runway and mumbling something about hot fudge sundae, pizza and no offense.

About the Author

Lumpy Rutherford
Lumpy Rutherford is the head writer for the Toast Dispatch. His favorite topics are St. Louis Post-Dispatch writer Jeremy Rutherford and former Blues goalie Jaroslav Halak.